I am currently unemployed, and it's no secret that the situation has been bothering me a lot in the past. Now I have found a strategy that works for me. But for a long time one of the worst things about being unemployed (besides not having a job) was people's reaction to my situation. I felt embarrased and vulnerable telling others how I, after years of studying, didn't have a job. And the pity and/or well meaning advice from others didn't help either. Based on my experiences, here's a few do's and dont's when it comes to talking to someone who is unemployed:
1. Assume the person you're talking to actually wants a job and is doing anything(s)he possibly can to get one.
Sometimes I have experienced a maybe-you-should-just-try-harder-attitude from others. Not because people are mean but because it's their best advice. However, being told that you're not doing enough or don't want it enough is just not the kind of encouragement you're looking for.
2. Don't give "good advice".
I've had a lot of advice from people who really, really wanted to help me by giving me job advice. Mostly it's bad advice. Sorry! Again, people mean well but 'Have you tried...?' is usually not good advice unless they know the business inside out or their job is to hire employees.
3. Talk about something else.
A lot of our identity is wrapped up in our jobs and achievements at work. Talking about being unemployed can emphasize the sense of lack of achievement or work identity. Instead, talk about something else: Hobbies, sports, holiday plans, what you did last weekend, anything really.
4. Give encouragement!
There's nothing better to boost one's self esteem than when people tell you that you're a wonderful person and they really mean it. "You're a lovely person and you have a lot of great skills. I'm sure you'll get a great job" means so much more than any job advice.
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